Leading Through Conflict: Understanding High-Conflict Personalities in the Workplace

We’ve all dealt with difficult people, but not all conflict is created equal.

Some individuals seem to fuel conflict wherever they go. No matter the team, the setting, or the situation, they create tension, division, and disruption. If you’ve experienced this more than once, you’re likely dealing with what behavioral expert and author Bill Eddy calls a High-Conflict Personality (HCP).

In his book, The 5 Types of People Who Will Ruin Your Life, Eddy, who has decades of experience as a therapist, lawyer, and mediator, identifies consistent personality patterns that make certain people more likely to stir conflict and dysfunction. As a leader, it’s not just helpful to understand this dynamic; it’s mission critical for protecting your team, your culture, and your own energy.

Let’s unpack what high-conflict personalities are, how to spot them, and what you can do to lead effectively through the chaos they often create.

What is a High-Conflict Personality?

An HCP isn’t just someone who gets into arguments or has strong opinions. It’s a pattern of behavior rooted in defensiveness, blame, and emotional instability, usually paired with a lack of self-awareness and poor accountability. These individuals often trigger escalating conflicts, alienate others, and create environments where progress stalls and morale suffers.

The Four Key Traits of HCPs

According to Eddy’s framework, HCPs almost always exhibit the following:

• Frequent Blame of Others: They rarely take responsibility and constantly cast themselves as the victim.

• All-or-Nothing Thinking: You’re either for them or against them. There’s no gray area.

• Unmanaged Emotions: Outbursts, passive-aggression, or manipulation often appear when things don’t go their way.

• Extreme Behaviors: They escalate conflict to disproportionate levels, spreading rumors, quitting suddenly, making legal threats, or undermining leaders.

In Eddy’s book, he outlines five common “types” of HCPs: the Narcissist, the Borderline, the Paranoid, the Antisocial, and the Histrionic. Each brings its own challenges, but they all tend to leave a trail of dysfunction behind them.

Why It Matters for Leaders

Left unchecked, an HCP can corrode an otherwise healthy team from the inside out. Productivity drops, trust erodes, and emotional energy is drained as people try to navigate their behavior. You might even begin to doubt your own instincts or question your leadership decisions.

One of the biggest risks is the distraction from the mission. When your time and energy go toward managing personality chaos rather than executing on purpose, it costs everyone.

What to Watch For

As a leader, you don’t need a degree in psychology, but you do need pattern recognition. Here are red flags that may signal an HCP is in the mix:

• People walking on eggshells around them

• Frequent misinterpretations or twisting of others’ words

• Escalating small issues into major drama

• Sudden character attacks or attempts to divide the team

• Playing the victim in nearly every conflict

• A trail of broken relationships or past “bad bosses”

How to Lead Through It

Here’s the hard truth: You can’t fix a high-conflict personality, but you can lead through the conflict they create.

• Stay Calm, Consistent, and Boundaried: HCPs thrive on emotional reactions. Keep your tone steady and your boundaries firm.

• Document Everything: Stick to the facts. Keep communication clear, professional, and preferably written.

• Avoid Triggering the Defensiveness Loop: Skip the lectures. Ask clarifying questions and redirect toward behavior, not identity.

• Set Expectations and Hold Accountability: Give clear expectations and follow through consistently. Don’t let disruptive behavior slide.

• Protect the Culture: Build an environment where respectful conflict is encouraged, but drama and toxicity are not.

Call to Action: The Leader’s Role

Whether you’re leading a small team or an entire organization, you are the protector of culture and purpose. It’s not about avoiding conflict; it’s about recognizing the difference between healthy tension and destructive patterns.

In today’s overstimulated, digitally charged world, high-conflict behavior is everywhere. It spreads fast. But when leaders operate with clarity, calm, and conviction, they create the kind of environment where truth, growth, and real connection can thrive.

Lead with strength. Recognize the patterns. Protect the mission.

About the Author

Dale Walls is a U.S. Marine veteran entrepreneur, founder and managing partner of Lions Guide, and CEO of Gryphon Aegis. He leads a portfolio of businesses across leadership development, digital marketing, IT services, and operational support. Through Lions Guide, he equips full-time business owners and organizational leaders with the clarity, discipline, and accountability they need to lead with confidence. Outside of business, Dale stays active and committed to personal growth.